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Why am I here? Why have I lived so long when others are gone? Why did my life go as it did and what is my future? Why did I choose to go this way in life instead of an alternative?

These are questions we may be fortunate to ask ourselves in the future if we live long enough. The alternative is hard to imagine but so true for many. Sad but true that many live a mediocre life with very little to say they accomplished. Why? Because they failed to overcome fear of the unknown instead of embracing faith in the future.

As I write on a jet plane heading back to the good ole USA, I am inspired by the events of the last few months to ask why. The plan was to travel to England, have a party for my mother-in-law who is now in her 100^th year, visit friends and family, have a short vacation to Budapest, then wrap up our trip spending as much time as we could with this grand lady. All of that was achieved so I can say mission accomplished, but along the way I discovered it was much more than just a trip.

As we visited my mother-in-law just about every day, before the party, we went out with friends as well. On one occasion, we just so happened to meet a relative. She was preparing to get off work as a busy dentist and needed to move her car for another staff member who was leaving early. We had just parked our car and were walking to the pub when we heard her shouting. Some may call that a coincidence, but I prefer to call it a “God wink”. We all went to the pub together recognizing the gift. Why did this happen and what are the odds of such a coincidence? I believe it gave us a chance to visit one on one before the 100^th party.  You may say, who cares? I say I do because it was a once in a lifetime experience to put into our memory bank. Do you believe we are led to great memories when we step out and do things others may not do?

As the party approached, we spent more time with my wife’s mom and listened to her stories about her life. Yes, sometimes we shed a tear as she looked back at memories of her husband. Sometimes we laughed as she remembered why they did what they did during their early years of marriage. They traveled to many different countries choosing not to stay at home but to go on adventures she now has in her memories. There are always challenges when travelling but should not stop building memories.

On the night before the party, family gathered for an evening meal to spend time with each other. We built new memories to look forward to new times together. Will we precisely meet this way again? Probably not but those in attendance will remember that night for years to come. Likewise, the next day was a day we will certainly remember but unlike the earlier evening’s gathering this day will be once in a lifetime. Why? Because my wife’s mom is alive and present to share her special magic of living to the maximum without any regrets. How many of us can actually claim no regrets?

She has raised the question of why am I here? Why have I lived so long when others are gone? These questions cannot be answered by us mortals. All we can do is live according to our dreams led by our faith overcoming the fear of inaction. This time led us to our next adventure to a country we knew little about until now.

When I think of Budapest, before our trip, I think it is a nice stop if taking a river cruise along the Danube in Europe. Nice stop to see sights then back on the boat. What a naïve look at this historic beautiful place full of history and hard-fought freedom. Did the Hungarian people ask why? Yes!

The river Danube separates Buda from Pest. Buda is mountainous on one side and Pest is flatter on the other side. Lots of walking up steps on either side but a big contrast, nevertheless. Pest has multiple thermal baths which made them a target for Roman occupation well before the Germans showed up when the reign of terror started.

Victims of two murderous ideologies numbered in the millions from either attempt to gain freedom or Jewish persecution. Nazism was first then when they were freed at the end of WW2 from this totalitarian dictatorship they were enslaved again with communism. The Hungarians are very independent now and will never forget the constant threat from foreign entities claiming a utopian future. By 1956, they rose up against the communist puppet regime only to be crushed back into servitude. They paid a huge price for rebellion. The “Lads and Girls of Pest” fought bravely with Molotov cocktails against the T-54 Russian tanks, but failure was inevitable. Hungary had managed to separate themselves from the communist after WW1 and aligned themselves with Germany during WW2 which was a devastating mistake. The Nazis regime was brutal and treated the Hungarian people as slaves but then the communist gained control again after victory in WW2. The spoils of war were the Hungarian people. They never really obtained their freedom until 1989 when the Iron Curtain fell. It took another year before the last communist left, and they were declared a democratic nation in 1991.

Why did the Nazis then the communists treat the Hungarian people with so much distaste and keep them in bondage? Because they were allowed due to complacency. Why is Ukraine being bombed daily by Putin’s war machine hoping they will surrender? Same reason in that everyone else turns a blind eye hoping it will go away. Why do some survive, and others perish?

I am now home now where the news is focused only on what the news media want us to hear. We live in an insulated world where other news around the world seems to have little substance. Will we eventually find ourselves back in the fight when some fanatic decides to attack like at Pearl Harbor? Why are we so willing to allow fleshly comforts to overcome our heavenly obligations to focus on our creator?

I just returned from a spirit filled conference where my church affiliation is getting back to that focus not adjusting to worldly compromise. The Nazis war machine nearly destroyed our freedom and took the lives of many of the Jewish communities because they believed they were superior. The communists are trying even today, to change the scenario to their advantage. Why are we allowing human desires to change the very fabric of our creator’s desires. Do I know specifically His desires? No but neither does anyone else. Why do some live in fear trying to hide under new social norms while others live in faith, praying for guidance from our heavenly father, our creator of all things?

As I finish writing down my thoughts of the last few months, I am hit with some reality checks. One of our friends in England is diagnosed with an illness and now undergoing chemo. We pray for his recovery. One of my church members has a close friend who lost a young boy due to a drowning accident. Why do we experience such senseless tragedies? A young child had his life’s experiences ahead of him is now gone. Why? It is not our role to second guess but know that God loves us. We can say, if that is true then why take away loved ones especially so young. He may love us but does not interfere with the consequences of our choices unless it is His will to intervene. It was an accident that will be put into our memory bank for perhaps a greater purpose. Drowning is the leading cause of death for children aged 1 to 4, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The later word “prevention” may be hard to accept but the consequences of our choices may have a significant role in the event. If God did not accept our free will to choose, how can we grow to reach our potential? Without our willingness to seek God, live by faith in Him, make good choices, while not living in fear of inaction, His plan for us may or may not be revealed in our time on earth.

Also, as I finish this writing, yet another loss of life in my circle of friends was witnessed. My friend had just been re-married for less than a year after losing his previous wife to illness. Now, his new bride is gone also due to illness. Why does some seem to be overly impacted by loss of loved ones? As mere mortals, we do not have an answer but through our journey on faith, God will strengthen us to endure the pain in order to obtain ultimate victory.

Please join me to question all things, while being guided by the Holy Spirit to overcome human weakness to conform. May we conform not to this world but to the everlasting world to come rejoicing in final victory through the one and only one creator of all things. Praise God!

T

I was given a challenge to write a quick story consisting of 1500 words at an author’s festival in New Iberia, Louisiana called “Teche Literary Festival” on April 1st, 2023. The topic was on “Southern Drawl”. I did not win the contest but thought it was good anyway. O, well, maybe next time. Here is my story. “Bear It” By Terry A. Lindsey. You can read other stories and novels at: www.amazon.com/author/terrylindsey

I was born in Alaska. My mom planned to stay with me for two years then kick me out into the world to fend for myself. My dad was gone most of the time. Life as I knew it was soon to be changed forever.

In the winter of my second year, my dad came to my mom in our den and said it was time to immigrate. My mom was indignant saying we do not leave our home of our birth. Life in Alaska is great so why would we move? All our friends are here, and in the summers, it is a wonderful time to explore the North Slope. We just have to keep our distance from those monsters who look like us in a way but have no body hair. They are very dangerous but there are so many of us, we have learned how to keep away from these strange creatures. Sometimes they move on two hind legs and sometimes they get into some contraption that makes a loud noise and moves on mysterious looking feet that tear up our beautiful landscape. Other than that annoyance, why should we want to move?

My dad replied because there are too many of us and we should look for a new land that we can live in peace. Besides, those monsters are always trying to kill us with a magical stick that makes a loud noise. I am sick of seeing my brothers and sisters being hauled off on one of the contraptions with strange feet. We will never see them again. I want us to stay together and make a new life down in the Lower 48. My mom said, “What! You want to go outside.” Yes, he said, and I want us to stay together as a family. She said, we do not do that. You have been with most of my girlfriends and only come around when it is time for a new offspring. Our son here will soon join your band of brothers only looking for food, water, and your yearly fun during the winter before you laze around your den. You men are so single focused, it makes me want to throw up. My dad then shocked us both that he has changed and wants a monogamous relationship and explore new land. I was listening to the exchange amazed. I did not know any land except our den and a few miles outside roaming and playing with others my age. Now, we were about to move. I was looking forward to going out to the bush on my own but now that would all change. What was I about to experience?

As the winter turned to spring, we started our journey to the lower 48, but first we had to go through another area called Canada. We saw even more of us living here, much the same as where we came from, but they had some strange ways about them. They spoke similar to us but had some funny ways to pronounce things. They said they had picked up this from listening to those weird creatures who had no body hair. It seemed that these creatures had come to their land from all over the world to settle here. My dad said this was nice, but we need to continue our journey.

He decided to take us along the west coast of the lower 48. We left our Canadian friends and traveled through Washington, Oregon, and California. That took us several months, only stopping to rest, catch food and observe many strange creatures. Of course, we still had to keep away from those hairless creatures, but the rest seemed friendly enough though our experience from home taught us not to become too friendly. We did find some of our kin folk, but their way of speaking was even more strange. Likewise, they had picked up the accents from other creatures. California seemed to have the wildest dialect. They spoke with a slang saying things like being stoked, a gnarly day, and Hella instead of really. I thought they all seemed a bit weird as if on some kind of drug but who am I to think anything just becoming two? Our kin rolled their eyes at us and wondered what we were doing so far from home. My mom kept asking the same thing, but my dad said let’s keep going.

We continued through Nevada fishing along the Colorado River and traveling along the Grand Canyon. That was exciting to see the huge walls of rock. We got to New Mexico and were advised to stay away from Texas because if you enter, you may not leave. We were a bit perplexed at that warning so decided not to take a chance. Instead, we went through Oklahoma and Arkansas before we turned south to Louisiana. My dad then declared “woo wee.” We looked at him with disgust. As we continued south, we saw very little of our kind but saw the ever-present hairless wonders along with deer, squirrels, rabbits, racoons, foxes, wolves, bobcats, armadillos, etc. They all spoke their native language but with what we found out to be a “red neck” dialect. The armadillos were probably the most unique creatures in that they made all sorts of noises and did not care who saw them. They seemed to be in a different world with no care in the world. Maybe because they wore protective armor or maybe they were just too simple. Who knows? They did speak with similar dialects with sayings like y’all instead of you all or you guys. It seems they had a distinctive dialect coming from Northern England who settled in the South where the origin of the Southern Drawl lies.[i] Whether redneck or southern drawl, it did seem that the further south we went, we began to see other folks of our kinship as well as some new creatures called alligators living along the water.

My dad gave me strict instructions not to get too close to the water as those alligators had no pity for anything they thought they could drown and eat later. We moved all the way to New Iberia, Louisiana before my dad declared that this was our new home. By the time we had arrived winter was once again, but the cold was nothing like Alaska. We did not even find a nice deep crevice in the rocks to build our den. All we had was a hidden area along the Teche to make our home. The Southern Drawl as described early mostly of Northern England now included French, Spanish, and Acadian from Canada called Cajuns.

During my third year as I grew more into a handsome guy, I never forgot my roots in Alaska but embraced my new culture. My mom and dad never really established a monogamist relation. My mom tried but my dad could not get away from his basic instinct. The ladies down here spoke with so much grace in the Cajun dialect he could not resist them saying Bonjour Cher. He would just melt into their arms. My mom finally said, oh well he was just Lagniappe now I can have a Fais-do-do with all my girl and boy friends until it is time to sleep.

As far as my experiences, I continue to learn the lessons of the swamp and not get too close to the Cocodrie as they only open their mouths to eat. They are no fun at all. I try to ignore them but sometimes I just shout back at them saying I will put the Gris-gris on you. I have started following along my dad’s footsteps and becoming a real ladies’ man though I have a lot to learn about them. I cannot understand their ways. My dad says, C’est Bon as he has learned to speak Cajun but still not how to treat women here or back home.  I have also gotten good at staying away from those monsters with no body hair. Sometimes, they travel along the water in another contraption called a pirogue catching fish and other strange creatures called crawfish. Those things do not look like any fish I have seen but one day, I may give it a try. Many of these hairless creatures also immigrated from Canada on the east side where we traveled on the west side. We do have a lot in common. It seems we were escaping our homeland to find another land where we can live in peace. To that, I say well done!

So, as I grow into a full-sized Black Bear immigrated from Alaska to Cajun country I will just learn how to “bear it”.

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[i] https://magoosh.com/english-speaking/the-southern-drawl-breakdown-of-an-american-accent/#:~:text=However%2C%20rural%20and%20less%20wealthy,of%20the%20Southern%20Drawl%20lie

This will be my last blog post of our travels abroad this year. My previous blog post labelled “purpose” was a continuation where I offered you some insight on our journeys and ask you to find angels amid history impacting our present time. I also tempted you with a few pictures along the way. Whether you are a visual or literary type person, I hope you find some pleasure in the journey. As I conclude this journey with my wife to England, France and Spain with the main purpose to spend time with her mother while taking a few excursions along the way, I learned again, I need to stay flexible to change. Enjoy this final post called “function” where I challenge you to consider how you live. Do you function as if tomorrow will happen and whatever happens, it is not my fault? You do not even think of being blessed by angels helping you along your life’s journey let alone believe you have a purpose. You may say, I am in control, and I function well so this does not apply to me. Well, you may be in for a surprise awakening when something happens causing you to spin out of control. How will you function then? I ended my last post reminding you that you may resist the call to be obedient, but God has a way to make our desires his design. Concentrate on making the way you function or interact with others to be aligned with the will of your creator.  

We sailed from Southampton to Guernsey. The stop in Guernsey was canceled due to bad weather not allowing us to disembark from tender boats. Apparently, that happens a lot in Guernsey as their port is not suitable for the huge ships. We were disappointed but made the most of this by all day buffet, jacuzzi, movies, more eating, watching the sea slip beneath the ship. Tough duty but someone must do it, LOL. I started reading about the Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society. They were a society formed during WW2 as Germany occupied this Island, so the society was a sort of resistance to the occupation. I finished the book when I returned from our trip. The book made me aware of my topic regarding function. The people in the Channel Islands did not have much help during the beginning of the world war. As France fell, they became a slave state. Guernsey is the largest of the Channel Islands located in the English Channel near the French coast. I had mentioned earlier about William the Conqueror becoming the first Norman king of England after his victory at the battle of Hastings in 1066. He had control of a region called Normandy in Northern France. He ensured Channel Islands would remain part of England as he had control of both regions. That changed drastically on June 30^th, 1940, when Hitler saw the capture as a major political victory. Britain had decided to de-militarize as they knew it could not be defended. Can you imagine how the islanders had to rethink how they functioned? Many of the children and some others were able to be spared captivity by mercy ships from England who rescued them days before total occupation. Those left behind had to function with very little freedom, food or comforts. Almost overnight, the way they functioned became totally different. They had to account for everything. The formation of the society was a miracle and cleverly disguised to keep the Germans unaware of the activities. 

Our next stop was the port at La Rochelle, France. We took a bus excursion from the port to the island of Ile de Re. We road along the whole perimeter of the island taking in beautiful scenery, gardens and lots of sheep. Luckily, this part of France was not impacted by the World Wars as some parts though they were certainly influenced by conquering nations from earlier centuries of development. It was nice to walk along the old streets at each stop including La Flotte, Saint Martin De Re, and Sainte Marie De Re before heading back to the ship. The biggest landmark is the church of Saint-Etienne. It is the oldest religious monument on the island founded in the 11th century. It has a black and white steeple that has served as a beacon for navigation of ships. We could see the steeple way out to sea as we departed this port bound for Bilbao, Spain.

As we departed La Rochelle, we were reminded of the dual function of the church steeple. One to lead people to Christ and one to direct sailors safely home. The night’s sail to Bilbao, Spain was pleasant as we looked forward to our visit to this beautiful town. You may not know this, but Spain functioned during WW2 as a neutral country even though the control of the country was under Francisco Franco who leaned more towards Hitler and his Axis alliance rather than siding with the Allies. Spain was reluctant to join the war mostly due to their reliance on US imports to keep them stable after their civil war when Franco seized control. They held a delicate balancing act not to upset the allies while keeping the axis alliance at arm’s length. I wondered when I heard this just how the war may have turned out if Spain would have taken a side. Their function during this time was to survive on what they could get. As a result of their inactivity, Spain fell behind the technical curve and has been trying to catch up ever since. Bilbao is an example of old versus new. The old part of the city is shadowed by new all over. The contrast is most noticeable with the Guggenheim Museum built in 1997. In front of the museum is a twelve-meter-high sculpture called “Puppy” floral dog. The old part of the city was visited by my wife’s mom and dad many years ago, so it was nice to show her mom pictures of where we both had been in different times of our life’s journey.

It is interesting to note how societies around the world have a lot in common while maintaining their own identity. We may function as if normal in our situation but when put into another setting our way may not be feasible. Spain functioned to survive being neutral even though they were influenced by the events all around them. As we left Bilbao headed to our last stop at La Coruna, Spain, we looked forward to our new adventure. We disembarked at the heart of the city and spent the whole day walking the streets, enjoying the contrast of old and new like in Bilbao trying to become an attraction for all, and ending up near our ship for refreshments. We saw the character Spider Man climbing a steeple, John Lennon monument, in contrast with the old town center. It is all in perspective of trying to function with what you have. As we sailed away from Spain headed back to Southampton, we enjoyed our relaxing cruise back to port. I spent much of my day writing my fifth book called “One Cubic Yard”. More about that some other time. Now, back to our last few weeks in England.

We had a few days visiting with mom, visited friends, before driving to visit our nephew who lives in a village near Rugby. We stopped along the way at the famous Highclere Castle made famous by the TV series “Downton Abbey”. The original house was purchased in 1679 but ruins of an old Angelicin church dating back to the year 1000 and rebuilt into a parish church. Sir Robert Sawyer who bought the house and restored the church was buried in the church in 1692. His descendant, the 4^th Earl of Carnarvon restored the church again consecrated in 1870. However, it is the castle that everyone really wants to see. The purpose of the old home of the elite at that time was re-purposed as a popular series inspired by popular American shows. It first premiered in 2010 and has been a huge success. Perhaps, we need to stay flexible to look at change and re-purpose our goals to align ourselves with new realities.

We continued our journey from Highclere to Abington where we stopped for lunch and nice walk along the river Thames that eventually flows through the heart of London. The Thames looks like a refreshing waterway where people were boating and swimming. A far site from the hustle and bustle of downtown London. Keep in mind most waterways were the main mode of transport and commerce where now more of a scenic view along the highway. This highway leads to London, but we stopped at Oxford to the night. The University is indeed a site to see from the Bridge of Sighs to Museums and many buildings where great people were educated and are still being educated. We visited the old prison and castle on a hill, watch children play with toy swords, spears and shields acting out the old battles of old. The next evening, we are visiting our nephew and friend for dinner at Warwick. It was so nice to visit relatives we do not get a chance to see too often.

Many years ago, my wife and I had a great vacation with friends on a canal boat so just coincidently there was the Oxford Canal at Hillmorton. We had a chance to visit where another friend’s grandfather used to live and work as a lock’s keeper for the old locks still in operation today. These locks have been changing the level of water to allow boat passage for centuries. Again, its function has gone from commerce to mostly pleasure but still exists today.

As we continued our journey back to mom, we stopped at Warwick Castle which is probably the most active tourist castle I have ever visited. They are constantly depicting the times of the past from plays to sword fights. Plus, the castle tour is full of adventures taking you into the days of Knights and gallantry. Note: Make sure you are prepared to walk up towers with steep steps but when arrived at the top the view is extraordinary.

Our next stop was Coventry cathedral bombed by the Germans during WW2. It’s shell still exist reminding us that even today, evil people are determined to destroy at all costs to get their perceived reward. Fortunately, evil is only temporary as sin which is defeated by our faith and ultimate purpose according to divine will and intervention. Guy Fawkes house at Dunchurch Village is another example of evil plots shall be sought out and crushed if it is God’s will. Us Americans do not know too much about Guy Fawkes, but my British friends celebrate each year with the burning epitaph and fireworks remembering his plot to blow up parliament which felled to happen. The house is where his co-conspirators waited for news of his success only to be found and dealt with severely for their act of treason.  

We ended our trip with a Gin and Rum tasting tour of the new Portsmouth venture to re-purpose Fort Cumberland which is part of the historic England Fortress designed for protection of Portsmouth Harbor. It is now derelict looking for new opportunities. Aren’t we all looking for new opportunities? If not, we should. As I end this episode called “function”, I conclude this writing at my retreat in North Louisiana. I am preparing to join a team of volunteers headed to Florida. We will be in or around Fort Meyers. Just early this year, my wife and I spent a wonderful time at Sanibel Island which is now destroyed due Hurricane Ian. We do not know what we will see or be involved in, but we will serve as needed. What is our purpose in life and how do we function in changing times? Maybe, we can see a clear direction, but chances are that we will be re-directed by events beyond our control. As I started this post, we may think we are in control, but events happen, and we find ourselves in a new reality. That is life, enjoy the journey while staying flexible to changes. This is our Creator’s world we are blessed to exist so live according to His will, guided by His Angels, and His Purpose, so Function in this world knowing you are preparing for His world to come.

T

In my previous blog post labelled Angel, I ask you to look at my journey with my wife to England, France and Spain to find angels during history. I left the last post stopping at Dungeness then mentioning the loss of Queen Elizabeth II as history in the making as we observe her processions from Scotland to England with people lining the road to see this popular character now part of history. She was indeed an angel forming her wings now fully grown for her heavenly home. After our trip to Kent, we came back to mom for day visits before we headed back out to see the busy harbor town of Emsworth. The walk along the front is very nice. My message for this blog takes the angel theme to “what is our purpose in life?” We can see Queen Elizabeth II’s life’s purpose unfolded before our eyes as her life and death is shared around the world. But, what about our purpose? I wrote a blog in 2016 called “Who is your master” where I pointed out that we should use our worldly wealth to make friends, not by deceit, but by honesty and humility to raise your purpose from earthly rewards to heavenly rewards. As I continue with you on our journey abroad, I encourage you to look at God’s purpose for those in history knowing you are also in his plan.

Corfe Castle was built in 1086 during William the Conqueror time as an exchange with the Abbess of Shaftesbury for a church. He took the hill and land around it to build this fortress. What was his purpose and how did God use his actions?

We then took a train from Corfe to Swanage which is another scenic village along the coast showing the Jurassic rock formation scene up close in Dover. Onward next to Lulworth Cove. The cove has been formed from the time of dinosaurs and is a huge tourist attraction for Indians as this cove has been a feature in Hindi movies produced out of Bollywood films. We stayed the night at Wareham and walked around the ancient walls surrounding the city. Lawrence of Arabia, an amazing character who certainly made his purpose known settled near Wareham in Clouds Hill in 1935 where only a few months died in a motorcycle crash.

The next day we continued along the coast to Poole and took the Jurassic Cruise. We passed by Brownsea Island made famous by the founder of the boy Scouts, then on to Old Harry Rock named for Harry the pirate who hid waiting for his next merchant ship victim. The Swanage Bay, Anvil Point and St. Alban’s Head are magnificent white Jurassic rock cliffs stretching all along the coastline. 

Buckler’s Hard Village is a must stop for anyone interested in Lord Nelson’s Naval ships as many were built on this site. His purpose was to stop the onslaught of naval attacks on the British. In his effort, Britian’s navy became superior over all during those times. You can read more about the battle at Trafalgar by searching a previous blog of mine.

During this trip as you can imagine was full of excursions along with visits with mom, friends and family. One of the surprises was a trip to the Weald and Downland Living Museum. The old buildings from various ages of history have been restored at this huge outdoor museum. Also, on the grounds in one of the building’s the “Repair Shop” is filmed. We had a chance to meet a few of the cast members of this popular show.

We spent one day on a train to Portsmouth harbor and took a fast boat to the Isle of Wight and a bus tour around the Island before going back to our friend’s house for another night. 

We met an old but younger friend who we first met in Thibodaux with her husband. My wife especially had a connection with her as she considered her as another daughter. She helped her during a few pregnancies, shared laughs along with some tears. Her parents live in Alton so we took the time to visit while their family was together for the holidays. My wife was an angle to this couple during the time in Thibodaux. How nice to share more fond memories on this trip.

The next few days we spent with mom taking her out on day trips to Stokes Bay, shopping, visiting other friends, and getting ready for our cruise. We spent one day before the cruise at Hinton Ampner which is a 20th century vision of old English living. The mansion and gardens are beautiful like most old scenery in England.

I end this blog post tempting you with more pictures and stories as we travel on our cruise to France and Spain and back again to England. This trip has certainly been one for the books as we seemed to cover so much in such a short time it seemed. Our purpose on this earth is very specific to our connection with our creator. We may resist the call to be obedient, but God has a way that makes our desires his design. Enjoy life’s journey so maybe one day, history will cover your path to your ultimate goal.

T